Fingle-Dingle-Wangers
(Top Posts - Distance From Belief
in theism - 051303)


If someone said "Fingle-Dingle-Wangers live on top of air conditioners, just believe" ...

And I replied, "Oh really, well I'm looking at the top of an air conditioner right now, and I don't see any Fingle-Dingle-Wangers" ...

And someone replied, "Well, do you believe they're there?" ...

And I replied, "Well I'll accept that they're there if I see them there" ...

And someone replied, "Silly, you have to believe they're there in order to see them there or hear them there.

Even then you might not see them or hear them there, but if you believe they're there you'll feel in your heart that they're there whether you see them or hear them there, you'll just feel like they're there.

If you believe strongly you'll feel them guiding you and leading you and inspiring you.

If you really believe really strongly you'll feel like worshipping them and praying to them and asking for things from them.

If you really believe really really strongly you'll feel like just by believing in them you'll live forever 'cause they're the entities that created everything and that look out for everything and that make all the rules and control all that ever was, all that is, and all that ever will be.

Really.

But if you don't believe they're there, well they're there, take my word for it, and just think of all the fun worship and praying and living forever that you'll be missing out on if you don't believe." ...

And I replied, "So, I have to believe they're there to see or hear or feel them there, but if I don't believe they're there, they're there, but I just won't be able to see or hear or feel them there?" ...

And someone replied "Now you're getting it, if you believe they're there, they're there, and if you don't believe they're there, they're there but you won't be able to see or hear or feel them there if you don't believe they're there, so there."

And I replied, "So you're saying they're there whether I believe they're there or I don't believe they're there, but by belief, I can actually see or hear or feel them there. So seeing or hearing or feeling them there is up to me, not them, kind of like I'm in control of whether or not they exist."

And someone replied "Oh no, they're there no matter what, it's just that if you don't believe they're there, you won't see or hear or feel them there."

And I replied, "So no matter what, they're there, but it's up to me to see or hear or feel them there, and they will not, in fact they cannot reveal themselves in any way, shape, or form unless I believe they're there?"

And someone replied "Well, actually, being all-powerful and all, they can do whatever they want, but if they don't do something, that's OK for they are the great Fingle-Dingle-Wangers, after all, and no one can dispute their will.

Only they know why they do what they do, and everything they do is "right", for they are the all-powerful Fingle-Dingle-Wangers. Praise be to Fingle-Dingle-Wangers. May the great and almighty Fingle-Dingle-Wangers be with you, always. Amen."

And I replied, "Did they exist before air conditioners?"

And someone replied "They've always existed, it's just that they've taken a liking to air conditioners recently for some mysterious reason. No one knows why, but we believe in the almighty wisdom of the great Fingle-Dingle-Wangers, so it must be for a good and just reason. It is, after all, the will of the great Fingle-Dingle-Wangers.

Some, in fact, believe Fingle-Dingle-Wangers are everywhere. It doesn't matter, for most believe Fingle-Dingle-Wangers can hear you whenever you call on them if you really believe and if you're worthy of being listened to by them.

Some have very strong views on what Fingle-Dingle-Wangers are and what Fingle-Dingle-Wangers want and insist that their version of Fingle-Dingle-Wangers is the one and only True version. Oh well, it takes all types."


I whipped the above adventure up off the top of my head, though some might say I was inspired by the almighty omniscient and omnipresent Fingle-Dingle-Wangers.

One should be able to spot the similarities between the supposed God and the supposed Fingle-Dingle-Wangers, there, with the Fingle-Dingle-Wangers' believers being similar to folks of religious faith, and yours truly playing the role of the bemused skeptic.

I suppose the air conditioner can be thought of as the locale folks of faith like to apply to their version of God, with ...

... some saying it resides in places of worship,

... some saying it resides with Muslims or Christians or Jews or all monotheists or all Hindus or Buddhists or all of religious faith or everyone,

... some saying it resides apart from our universe,

... some saying it resides solely in the hearts of believers,

... some saying it's everywhere, and

... some skeptics saying it doesn't exist or (in deference to God fans) some skeptics saying they don't believe it exists or they just don't know if it exists and they just don't know if it doesn't exist.