Close Personal Intimate Relationships
(Top Posts - Social/Legal - 032601)

If you have a close personal intimate relationship with someone,
you are morally obligated to treasure and nurture that relationship.

Does the addition of a marriage license add anything to that rela-
tionship? Aside from legal obligations and tax ramifications and
social/cultural expectations, no.

It takes two to tango, so lying and deceiving a partner can lead
to deceit, dishonesty, more lies, and a destructive life-threatening
end to a relationship.

Often, it seems, one partner is disappointed with another partner
and the relationship begins to fall apart prior to the commission
of so-called immoral "cheating" acts.

The "smoking gun end of the relationship" (cheating or some
such thing) often is centered on as the immoral aspect with the
"actual cause of the dissolution" (problems with spouse; religious
disagreements; suspicions; mistrust; financial stress; etc.) looked
at as moral sub-currents.

One might venture that the most immoral affectation is the initial
stimulus or provocations leading to the marital or intimate relation-
ship problems in the first place (for some reason I'm starting to
think along the lines of mother-in-laws, here, no offense to those
who happen to be mother-in-laws, it's just in my personal exper-
ience ... well ... let's not go there).

On the other hand, you might have a devoted couple with
a particular person in the relationship choosing to "cheat" in
a manner that they think they can get away with, without any
provocation whatsoever from (just for example purposes)
religion or mother-in-laws or the other spouse.

That, I'd have to say, is a highly risky adventure, leading to
lying and deceit, and would have to be considered immoral
on that basis. Risking the devotion of a loving partner and
abusing the trust of a loving partner, with no benefit whatso-
ever to said loving partner, sounds immoral on its face to me.

However, it's been known to happen that a spouse will choose
to provide stimulus for marital disharmony and then righteously
assert his/her position as the offended party when, in fact, the
offending party is the spouse that chose to disenfranchise the
partner and drive said partner into seeking release or comfort
elsewhere.

So, to sum it all up, life is complex, close personal intimate
relationships are extremely complex, and those of us who are
able to find a mutually beneficial relationship with another for
a lengthy period of time are most fortunate.

On a broader scale, if you consider the human species as an
evolved creature from other life forms, evolutionary motiva-
tions from billions of years of evolution are a significant impact
on behavior along with the social/cultural influences we leverage
our behavior off of in modern day societies.

From an evolutionary perspective, when considered from the
general nature of heterosexual behavior/motivation, males are
naturally inclined to seek to mate with healthy and sexually attrac-
tive females whereas females seek to find males who can provide
for them and their offspring (i.e., seeking powerful and financially
successful partners; pardons to females who seek 6'6" stud muf-
fins who stand on street corners and beg for a living).

Not that those factors are the only ones at play in our mate choices  
or that they apply in all cases (of course, significant numbers of
people are attracted to same sex partners and others are attracted
to persons not mating to the manner described above, but in most
cases, the above is applicable to a significant degree), it's just that
in considering why humans behave as we do, it would behoove
us to understand our evolutionary drives as well as the conflict
between them and the manner in which society expects us to act.
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Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the
answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.

-Woody Allen
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